Do you want to know one of the best-kept secrets about the game of golf? It’s one that every gal who’s ever played regularly (or maybe even not so regularly) understands but rarely discusses.
It’s sort of an unspoken rule.
The secret:
Golf is a lot like Vegas.
And no, I’m not talking about the betting that sometimes goes on among players.
I’m talking about the fact that what’s said on the golf course stays on the golf course. No questions asked – golfers generally understand that a round inspires open communication, venting, and problem-solving – all with the unspoken agreement that what’s being said on the course won’t be repeated in the real world. When we get our problems out there like this, a magical thing happens, and we start to feel better – all by processing, discussing, and getting a bit of feedback.
(Which sounds to me a whole lot like therapy.)
Let’s take a look at how golf is on par with therapy, and maybe even a little bit better:
- Golf gives us a space where we feel safe and heard and have the time to get to the heart of our issues. I bet this scenario sounds familiar – you go out to play nine with your pals, and you’re all wound up about trouble at work or maybe with your teenager. In the first two holes, you’re completely in your head and don’t even know how to talk about the issue. Slowly, you’re able to verbalize what’s on your mind. It’s almost like as you warm up golfing, you’re also warming up and getting more comfortable with fellow players, and soon you find those problems becoming part of the conversation.
- Golf trains us to be better communicators. As you talk to your golf pals and receive feedback, you fine-tune your ability to express yourself and respond to others. Conversation gets easier from hole to hole, and you find that it’s not hard to talk about personal issues or address things that come up during the round. Golf warms players up to have give-and-take conversations that happen naturally. Further, when you meet with the same golfers week to week, a relationship develops, and trust is built – closely mimicking a therapist relationship.
- Golf helps us strengthen our relationships and interactions with others. This is a big one. When golfing with others – whether people we know or strangers – we get solid communication practice in all situations. We learn how to “talk golf,” sharpen our small talk skills, and practice forging new relationships or strengthening existing ones. We also feel more comfortable with ourselves and fellow players, strengthening our bonds and building lasting friendships. These are all skills that might be discussed or taught in a therapy session – when you golf, you’re getting first-hand practice at it.
- Golf gives us “material” to think about long after the round is over. Did you ever notice that you feel like the work has just begun (but in a good way) after a good therapy session? The same goes for golf. When we’re out on the course, our conversations and revelations give us food for thought to take off the course. We leave feeling ready to take on the day and take on our issues and problems – either because we’ve talked our problems out or simply had the quiet time we needed to sort out the details.
- Golf helps us feel more empowered, productive, and able to handle the ups and downs of life (and golf). When you think about it, what could be more magical than a couple of hours away from the real world, spending time with friends, getting exercise, AND solving your own (and the world’s) problems? That’s what happens in golf, folks. It stirs up good feeling endorphins and puts a little spring in our steps, ready to return to the real world and tackle the day and our problems. Plus, the skills we learn on the course, as in how to deal with bad shots gracefully and *ahem* maturely, give us solid practice doing the same when life hands us problems.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying dump your therapist and throw those duties on your golfing pals. Therapists are an important part of many of our lives, adding to our overall wellness. What I’m suggesting, however, is that if you don’t have a therapist or upcoming appointment… you might just want to head to the golf course and see how this wonderful sport can make you feel a whole lot better – physically and mentally. Plus, no insurance, co-pays, or uncomfortable couches are required, and conversation flows freely along a beautiful golf course. I’d schedule that appointment any day of the week.
I really like these tips of developing bonds with all sorts of ladies. I’ve struggled with stress lately with my grown adult daughter so much, that it gave me a heart attack. We haven’t spoke in over 4 months and it broke me to my core. I’m also a widow and it makes it hard not to put my burdens on my other adult daughter whom I have a relationship with. Golfing helps me get out of my head and enjoy camaraderie. P.S. I do have a therapist also.
Sheri I am sorry to hear this. Look at you now….sharing your story with fellow golfers. I hope you are able to get out and golf with some ladies soon. I will offer a prayer or two for comfort concerning your daughter, reconciliation, and a speedy recuperation for you. God bless you and take care of yourself.