Dear Bonnie,
I suspect my playing partner sometimes incorrectly counts the number of strokes she takes on a hole. What is the best way to talk to her about it? I feel awkward correcting someone.
Almost every golfer, at one time or another, inadvertently drops a stroke when scoring a hole. Most players will appreciate the correction because they want their scores to accurately reflect their level of play.
However, if you are going to question a score, you want to be able to do so in a way that doesn’t disrupt your own game and concentration going forward. If you are feeling awkward and uncomfortable when you voice a correction to your partner, there is a risk you will carry distracting thoughts about the exchange in your head to the next hole and beyond. When you voice the possibility of an error, you want to do so with no uncomfortable feelings, or your game could be affected.
To avoid feeling awkward in questioning a score, I suggest you always be mentally prepared for the situation. Choose to believe that speaking up is the right action to take, and that you would want your partner to do the same if the situation was reversed.
Most golfers will appreciate you noting the miscount with no negative feelings attached. I believe the awkward feeling you mentioned comes from anticipating some type of adverse response. There is always a chance you may encounter someone who responds with embarrassment, irritation, or defensiveness. However, if this happens, remember you are not in control of other people’s reactions regarding the exchange. Their feelings and reactions are their responsibility, not yours.
You asked about the best way to tell someone about a possible mistake. I offer that you ask yourself how you would want your playing partner to deliver a correction to you. Looking at your own thoughts in the situation may give you the words to create a comfortable response to use with others.
Another suggestion is to simply ask in a friendly manner, “Did you say 5? I had you for a 6.” In most cases, your partner will respond by re-counting her strokes with no negative reaction toward you.
When the situation is handled with neutrality, curiosity, and respect, there is no need to feel uncomfortable, whether you are voicing the correction, or are the one who is being corrected. Accurate scoring supports the integrity of the game for everyone.
If you, our readers, would like to share how you prefer to receive a score correction, please leave a comment below.
I’ve had this happen to me twice in competitive rounds of golf. I was taught to that a nice way to approach is to say I had you for a 7, could we just walk through that together – once you walk through it with the person the typical response is OMG, you’re right and embarrassment … and many apologies follow. Although, I have had the ‘ok whatever you say’ response after walking thru it twice w our 3rd playing partner.
It’s your responsibility to protect the field no matter how awkward it is …
When I took up golf at the age of 52, I really counted on my friend Claire to keep me on track with teaching me how to score. Now after 14 years I am able to accurately keep track of my scores and those of others. I use the strategy she used – I go in with the attitude that sometimes we are distracted and need affirmation. I model the behaviour-“ I think I got 5 on that hole. Is that you got for me?” The we usually walk through it together. If you make yourself vulnerable when unsure, it helps others trust you to be fair. If people take turns keeping scores for others in their group, I also think it helps them learn the rules and how to record score accurately
Lisa and Marian.
Thank you for your useful comments!
Bonnie
There have been times when I’ve played and gave my score, if it is in question, another player may say to me “are you sure, count that again”. Then I and/or we recount. So this is one way I’ve learned to do the same. I don’t mind being corrected. I know some do.
Your comment is appreciated, Beverly. Thank you.
Bonnie