Dear Bonnie,

What keeps us coming back to golf? Why is it when I am having a terrible round, or a series of terrible rounds, and decide I am going to quit playing golf for good, I hit one great shot and I am back in the game? I let go of all previous thoughts of quitting. I know others who have these thoughts, too. Why do we keep coming back?

You are asking one of the age-old questions about golf. I offer my best assessment.

In the immediate situation you described, I believe initially it is a dopamine hit. You hit that perfect shot and your brain rewards you with a shot of dopamine. “Dopamine is part of our biological reward system. It is known as the feel-good hormone. When you’ve done something pleasurable, your brain releases a large amount of dopamine and increases your sense of pleasure. As a result, you feel good and you seek more of that feeling. You want to repeat that experience.” (Dopamine, Cleveland Clinic, 2022.)

In addition, when you hit that great shot, it boosts your confidence and gives you evidence you are capable of these shots and it is possible for you to play well.

In a broader sense of the situation, there are many reasons that keep us coming back. Golf is not just the numbers on the scorecard. Although our thoughts are usually highly focused on these numbers to which we immediately assign arbitrary meanings such as, “I am a good player,” which can make us feel worthy and motivated to play more, or “I am a bad player,” which makes us feel unworthy and unmotivated.

If you reflect on it, golf is much more than pencil marks on a card. Golf gives us time with friends, the physical and mental challenges of the experience, opportunities to be in the outdoors, recreational relaxation and exercise.  I offer you think of all your reasons for playing the game, and in doing so, you may have the best answer to your own question.

(Dear readers… if you feel like sharing, please post your reasons for playing, or coming back to golf, in the comment section.  Thanks!)