October is here. This means pumpkin spice everything, changing leaves, and cooler golf temps. October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a time when we’re reminded to get ourselves checked and support and acknowledge those affected by the disease.
October hits home with me because my family knows breast cancer all too well; my grandma, mom, three aunts, sister, and several cousins all had the disease. Because of this, I’ve been closely monitored for years, and have been called for follow up mammograms and biopsies. Anyone who’s ever had one of those calls understands the stress of tests and waiting for answers. Luckily, I was never diagnosed with cancer.
Last October, I got tired of worrying about when (not if, based on my family history) the disease would finally strike me. I took action and had a voluntary prophylactic bilateral double mastectomy and reconstruction. In other words, I had my breast tissue removed and reconstructed with implants as a precaution based on my genetics and personal history. (Or, “I did what Angelina Jolie did.”)
While I knew this was absolutely the right decision for me, I didn’t take the operation lightly. One, I was freaked out by the enormity of the surgery and about messing with my “womanhood.” Even moreso, as an active person (I golf, run, do yoga, and workout like crazy), I worried I’d be sidelined for months. And if we’re getting personal, since my new anatomy was going to be a “slight upgrade,” I was worried about my golf swing. Let’s just say my frame had never been a problem in the past, and I was curious how things would go after surgery.
Fears aside, I knew I had to do this. I went in October 25 and had a successful surgery. I could write an entire piece on the recovery process, but in a nutshell it was much easier than I expected. The hardest part was getting in and out of bed. I had to sleep propped up on my back, and wasn’t allowed to use my hands to push myself up. Therefore, I had to shimmy myself to the edge of the bed and use my abdominals to get up. I also had four drains to contend with, adding to the challenge. I only experienced notable pain the first week, and felt much better (almost human) by week two. I had to be careful, though—no opening car doors, pulling or reaching above my head as these actions could cause tearing or complications. I couldn’t imagine how I’d ever do my yoga poses, sling a golf bag over my shoulder, or swing a club.
Slowly but surely, I healed. Therapy helped me regain mobility and reach above my head, lift two pound weights, and other normal things I’d taken for granted before the surgery. Six weeks out, I was cleared for running and yoga. Since my recovery took place in late fall, my golf debut would happen months later, allowing for even more healing.
So, the question remains, does a double mastectomy with reconstruction negatively impact one’s golf game? While I’d like to blame a good share of bad rounds this summer on my new physique, I really can’t say my surgery hurt my game. Yes, my swing needs some fine tuning as “things” feel a bit different. All in all, though, my golf appears about the same. Surgery wasn’t the game-changer I expected it to be.
The whole experience, however, was a game changer – physically and psychologically. I felt lucky to be given the chance to prevent cancer, yet guilty thinking of those who didn’t get the same chance. During my healing, I had some revelations…
Things take time.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you don’t heal from breast surgery in a day either. The weeks when I wasn’t allowed (or able) to reach or lift gave me a new appreciation for how easily I navigate through life when not healing. After my surgery I needed to rest, heal, and rehab my way back to normal activity. I learned to be patient and let things follow their natural course. A good lesson I try to apply whenever I want to rush the process instead of trusting it.
Scary news is best handled when discussed with a friend.
I didn’t mention it above, but my surgery in October was sparked by suspicious MRI findings which prompted a needle biopsy and two surgical biopsies. To put it mildly, I was pretty terrified. Thank God for my husband, family, and besties who were there as I navigated through the process. If you’re going through something that’s stressing you out, find someone to confide in!
Take care of yourself—right now.
Don’t wait for that call to change things. Look at your diet; what needs to be eliminated, what should be added? Do you get enough exercise? Do you work too hard? Are you too stressed? It’s funny how fast we change things up when we get a diagnosis. Don’t wait for that to clean up your act.
Get enough rest.
I heard this a lot during my recovery. Surgery wiped me out, and made me appreciate the value of a nap, a lazy afternoon, a day of not running around like a maniac. I realized how crazy my life had been before my surgery, and vowed to take better care of myself in the future. This advice goes for all of us: how can you slow down your crazy schedule? My down time was magical. It helped me truly rest, and as a result, I felt good enough to work, exercise, and just get through my days.
Be your own advocate.
As I mentioned, my surgery was voluntary. I researched my options and found out what I needed to do to make my surgery happen. I asked my (awesome) nurse navigator and health care team a lot of questions, and always reminded myself “this is my body; I am in charge.” This is a mantra we all should adopt. Be in charge of you. Stay current on mammograms, OB/GYN exams, and doctor visits. Ask questions. Be both proactive and appropriately reactive. Please don’t ignore something because you’re worried about the worst case scenario.
Be there for other women.
We need each other. My mom, sisters, family, and friends were amazing, but equally amazing was a group of gals I found in a Facebook group created for women going through this procedure. Having a community of women who “get it” makes anything seem less scary. Whatever you’re going through, find a support system.
Women are fierce.
I believe we possess a super-human source of power embedded in our DNA, just waiting for us to call upon during times of need. While my surgery went really well, I’m not going to lie, the experience wasn’t a day at the park. But, as cheesy as it sounds, having this type of surgery helped me find an inner strength I didn’t realize I had. We all have that power at our disposal, and when we increase that power by supporting each other… that power is unstoppable.
So this October, ladies, please do two things for me. One, schedule a mammogram (or any test you need to address). Two, schedule a date with your favorite pal or pals. Hit the links, go for a walk, go for a drink… it doesn’t matter what you do, just find “your person(s)” and celebrate friendship and support!
My story is very different, but like Abbey, I leaned on golf to get me through it all. I found a lump in my right breast and was diagnosed with stage 2 mucinous carcinoma in December 2014. After discussion with an excellent surgeon, I decided to go the lumpectomy route, and after 3 lumpectomies (they kept going back in for more), I went for 6 weeks of daily radiation. That coincided with spring 2015 when the golf season here is just gaining momentum.
I chose to golf whenever I could–before a radiation appointment or after, depending on the day. After the first few weeks, I found I was very tired, needed to use a cart, and only able to play 9, but those 9 holes provided me with the most refreshing time of the day. My radiation continued right up to the fourth of July, and I continued to use golf as my release from worry.
I’m approaching 5 years clean this coming spring (I tell folks I’ll get my 5 year pin 🙂 ), and I’m still golfing. Of course I’m also still going for mammograms and sonograms every 6 months, and self-inspecting daily. My right breast is about half the size of my left, but I don’t really care. (And my wonderful spouse of 49 years doesn’t care either.)
Golf can be an important psychological healer. It forces you to focus on what is outside of your body and how your body acts toward that darn golf ball, instead of worrying about what is happening inside. Cancer is scary; it is full of uncertainties and one has no control over the disease. I advise women to take good care of themselves, regularly get mammograms, and self-inspect their breasts. But should cancer strike, look at all your options, make a plan with your loved ones and doctors, and then go forward with your plan and your life.
Terrific article. You are brave and fierce! Very candid and direct. We spend so much time taking care of a everyone else thank you for encouraging us to take care of ourselves!!
Oh my!!!!! I had my double (not a a bogey!) plus reconstruction about 5 years ago and I specifically asked my surgeon,who was a golfer. about playing golf, and when I could resume, would I “rip anything out” etc….I play golf just fine now, well I could play better…but you know, I’m all good. And a cancer free survivor. All the best!
P.S. I applaud you for your decision to have a prophylactic double mastectomy. I was checked for breast cancer 2X a year because of family history so my cancer was found early; I was 50. I am very lucky, so are you. Until you are sitting in that chair with the doctors understanding your choices, or non choices, re: your diagnosis, or prospective diagnosis in your case. You never know what you’re going to do. It’s personal.
This was such a great article. I also have family members that had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My mom was first diagnosed when she was 49 years old. She had a lumpectomy done at that time. She went through chemotherapy and radiation by herself because her husband would not go with her. We only found that out later on. She went 10 years without any other issues. Then 10 years to the day she was diagnosed with stage 4 “lung cancer” (we don’t think it was diagnosed properly). And of course it was on the same side she had the breast cancer and in the same area but on the outside of the lung so they could not do radiation so she tried a very large dose of chemotherapy. After 4 rounds it was not touching the cancer so she decided that she was going to stop the chemotherapy and live out the rest of her life happy instead of sick. She passed a month later. A few years after she passed her sister was diagnosed with breast cancer as well. At that time they did a BRCA test on my aunt and she came back positive. Due to my mom having the breast cancer two of the three of my sisters and I decided to also test for BRCA. Both my sisters came back negative so I was thinking that I would also test negative. Boy was I wrong. My test came back positive. I went through the counseling and learned the different things that I could do. My choices at that time were only to have to go through a mammogram and breast mri’s at 6 month intervals alternating between the two until they found something or to undergo surgery and choose to have a double mastectomy, reconstruction and a full hysterectomy. After discussing it with my family I decided on the surgery. I thought since I would have to do the surgery at some point I might as well do while I was healthy instead of waiting until I got sick. It’s now been 6 years and I feel great, except for being a little over weight which I’m working on. Since then my daughter has also tested positive but since she’s still young there’s not much she can do at this time. She will have to start her mammograms at age 25 instead of the normal 40 years old but she totally understands the situation well. I am now almost 47 years old and am starting to learn the game of golf. The swinging is the hardest part for me with the reconstruction but I am determined to figure it out. I didn’t realize how calming the game of golf can be. I am excited to see what I will accomplish.
Dear Abbey,
What a wonderful inspiring testimony you wrote. You were pro active and very brave as you ‘took the bull by the horns’ (cheesy!) ! You are so right about having family and friends there for support. Best of all is having a few very close friends to truly confide in and share fun get-togethers. With the mid-west winter quickly approaching you can do your yoga and other activities. Golf—-you will have lots of time to get in shape for wonderful rounds to come next summer. Thank you for allowing all of us to read your story! Hugs from—Mary
Abbey that was an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing. You have been through a ton, no doubt. Your words of wisdom are fantastic. Praying for continued health for you.
Thanks again for sharing
Be Blessed sweet Girl
Patty Power
4 weeks after double mastectomy I was cleared to play golf. Three days later I did.
I was told I could use a wedge, pitch, chip and putt. I was also told I could try a full swing, but listen to my body. Carefully, I did! I played 9 holes with a 9 iron, pitching wedge and putter. I used about a half swing. My normal swing was about a three quarter swing. It never was a full swing. I have been golfing for 34 years and will be 72 years old in 3 weeks. I thought I would need to wait about 6-9 months to even try to play. WOW I feel so BLESSED!