Dear Bonnie,

I had the best score I’ve ever shot in golf last month and as a result a terrible thing has happened. I have not enjoyed recent rounds and do not look forward to future games. Going to the course with my friends was a highlight in my week. Now, I literally feel dread toward an upcoming game. I used to think of myself as a decent player. Now I start feeling disappointment before I even reach the course and it continues through the game. How can my personal best score end up spoiling the pleasure of the sport for me? It does not make sense. Please advise.

First, before you continue reading, I offer that you brainstorm a few reasons in answer to your own question. Why do you think you are feeling dread and disappointment about playing golf right now? Answering “I don’t know,” doesn’t count and can prevent you from accessing your own potentially helpful thoughts.

Did you come up with some ideas? Perhaps you had the thought that since you played your best game ever last month, you will continue playing at that same high level every game?

Did the more powerful feelings of exhilaration you experienced when playing your personal best, cause the enjoyable feelings you used to have on the course to dim in comparison?

Does your brain go to reoccurring thoughts about how you will never be able to play at that level again, which feels bad and even depressing?

There are many thoughts that make sense regarding your current feelings about your game. In fact, there are even psychological terms such as, “arrival fallacy” and “achievement depression” used to describe similar emotional let-downs people experience brought on by their achievements and success.

Nothing has gone wrong. You may even have had a similar past experience in another area of your life, which has since faded from memory with time. For example, did you ever accomplish a long-term desired work goal, which when it was achieved and the celebrating was done, left you feeling a little flat and wondering what to do next? This type of experience is in the same emotional ballpark as what you are experiencing now.

I can offer a couple of strategies that may help you move through these unwanted emotions.

You can set a new golf goal for yourself, which will re-focus your thoughts and diminish the thoughts causing your unwanted feelings. Your new goal does not have to be based on your final score. It could be to improve a particular golf skill, such as putting, which will add to increasing your golf capabilities even more. I also encourage you to continue to celebrate the fact that you are significantly improving your game, as evidenced by your recent personal best.

You might also ask yourself, “What can I think, or do, to feel good about playing golf again?” We often have our own best answers. Sometimes we just forget to ask.