Should golfing pals invite their husbands to play and make it a foursome? Oh, what a tricky, loaded question this is. It’s so tricky that I must begin with a disclaimer: While I am indeed a wife, golfer, and friend, the thoughts/opinions/scenarios below are written from the point of view of the collective. That is, I’m writing on behalf of all women and for all women. What I say below does not (entirely) reflect my own experience but rather a fictional scenario you may all relate to.

Allow me to present a tale of two friends, Mary and Louise, who met at the driving range at the start of the pandemic. Because golf was considered a safe pandemic activity, they were both at the course all the time. Soon, they started playing together and created a nice little pandemic golf bubble where they bonded over golf, life, and the uncertainty of the times. Like any bffs, they learned all about each other’s life, which, of course, included ALL the dirt on each other’s husband.

Their husbands, in turn, knew a lot about Mary and Louise… at home, it was “Mary does this” or “Louise and her husband are going here,” etc. 

Everything was going really well until one day, Mary had an idea.

“Louise. How about we ask the boys to join us this Friday and then have dinner after?”

A harmless question, but one that caused Louise to sweat. This idea freaked her out, so she brought up her concerns:

Potential cons of inviting husbands into your golf bubble:

Husbands can change the vibe: Remember when you were a kid and a friend’s parent crashed your TV or game time and hung out with you? That took away a bit of the fun, right? You obviously had to watch what you said, and maybe you acted differently. The same could happen when you up your twosome to four by adding the hubsters. 

The proverbial question… will he say something he’s not supposed to? Now, even though you’re golfing with your bestie, sometimes there are things you don’t want your husband to talk about in public. And we know that husbands sometimes don’t have a filter or don’t understand the finesse of what to say and what not to say. You never can tell… which is a definite risk.

What if your husbands don’t get along? Nobody likes that #awkward scenario when it’s obvious there’s no chemistry between couples. Though it’s only a round of golf in the big scheme, if you’ve got a good thing going, you might not want to ruin the juju of the moment, and especially of your friendship. 

Um, excuse me, but this is our bestie time… will we still be able to dish? Sometimes, when others are added to the group, your time goes from casual enjoyment to making sure everyone is happy. This makes you feel more like you’re hosting a party versus golfing. Will having husbands there prevent the weekly spilling of the tea?

Well, since Mary is the optimist of the duo, she offered some counterarguments to her pal’s fears. 

The pros of spouses and besties golfing together:

The husbands change the vibe to be… even better! If you and your bestie have so many things in common, chances are your choice of guys might be similar as well. And, maybe their addition to the bubble might enhance the vibe and make everything more fun.

What if your husband says all the right things? It can be kind of endearing to hear your husband talk about you or your life in a positive light to people he doesn’t know.  

What if your husbands DO get along? How cool would that be if the guys developed a strong friendship – meaning they could golf and/or hang out together on their own (leaving you two besties to your chat sessions). Plus, you could elevate your friendship to “couple level,” meaning you can go out to dinner, travel, or have a go-to couple for NYE. 

You’ve still got bestie time, even if you have to share. Obviously, you and your friend are still going to talk on the course (and after!). If you think of it, it’s actually kind of cool to have your other bff playing with you – it will give you new material to talk about at home, and he can see firsthand how cool your golf bestie is.

The bottom line? I’d say adding husbands to the mix is a good idea. First, it’s just plain awesome if you have a husband who wants to golf with you and get to know your friends. Second, just like the friendship between Mary and Louise (which was a gamble) that worked out… the foursome has a good chance of really clicking and leading to many fun times on the course and off. 

And if the whole “let’s invite our husbands to golf with us” experiment is a flop? Well, then, Mary and Louise have so much more to talk about on their next round.  Like anything in life, you’ll never know until you try it. So I say go for it and get those husbands together.